Daemonology
by Callicokitten
Summary: Daemon AU. Daemons are a representation of peoples souls and Clary loves to study them. Now a collection of oneshots about each character and their daemon.Now a full length fic called Dust & Shadows :
1. Daemonology

**AN:**I'm not sure this counts as a crossover per se since the only thing taken from the His Dark Materials worlds are the concept of daemons. So don't hurt me! This is a crappy one-shot Christmas gift for a friend whose obsession with daemons and the Mortal Instruments series rivals my own.

For those of you who are unfamiliar with the concept of daemons here's a brief explanation: daemons are a representation of ones soul taking the form of an animal. As a child a daemon can change form at will but as the person matures the daemon settles on a form. Daemons are usually the opposite sex of the person. For a better explanation google it :)

Clary loved studying people's daemons.

She found them more fascinating than anything else she'd ever seen or met. Her daemon, a serval named Kinath, found daemons as interesting as she did and they'd become an expert on identifying daemon forms.

When Simon's Azula had settled as an otter way back when they were twelve, she'd wasted no time in telling him that she was not just an otter but an oriental short clawed otter. But it wasn't until she and Kinath met the Shadow Hunters and the Downworlders that they began seeing interesting daemons.

The first thing Clary noticed about the Shadow Hunters was that almost all of them had feline daemons and on top of that almost all of their daemons were unusual in their own right.

Jace's daemon, Astra, was a cougar with rich golden fur and startlingly blue eyes. She was just as quick-witted and smart mouthed as Jace. And when Kinath had first met her the two had _loathed_each other. Astra could travel further than most daemons could from Jace and when they'd first found that out Clary and Kinath had found her more intriguing.

Izzy's daemon, Rinn was an Amur Leopard, sneaky, graceful and beautiful just like her. He was quick and deadly and Clary had seen many a demon fall victim to his sharp teeth. Unlike most daemons Rinn had no qualms about talking to other humans directly, something that had shocked Clary when they had first met.

Valentine's daemon was an enormous Siberian tiger, Juno. The biggest and most magnificent daemon Clary had ever seen. Sebastian's daemon had been a twisted, broken panther, who was little more than a shade.

Even Clary's mother and the Lightwoods had feline daemons.

Jocelyn had a lion daemon, Freyr. Who, like Juno, was far larger than most. Maryse had lynx and Robert had an ocelot. Inquisitor Herondale had had a snotty black cat and Aline's Kael (a female) had been a jaguar.

In all her time with Shadow Hunters Clary had only met three without feline daemons.

Firstly there was Luke, his daemon was a honey badger named Mactire. Hodge's daemon had been a gray raven named Odin. And there was Alec. And Alec had undoubtedly the most interesting daemon of all the Shadow Hunters.

Nyx was a jet black wolf. A wolf; a warrior's daemon, or the mark of traumatic childhood. She remembered Kinath nudging her hand when they'd first spotted the wolf stalking silently beside tall, awkward Alec and they'd both decided there was much more to Alec then met the eye.

Nyx was standoffish and appeared disinterested in most other daemons, except for Astra and Rinn of course; with anyone else she snarled and avoided contact, sticking close to Alec. It had taken Kinath and her almost a month to realise that Nyx was a boy, the daemon was so silent, only talking to Alec or the other Lightwood's daemons. And Clary also noticed that Alec seemed to always have one hand resting on the wolf's shoulders; at first she and Kinath had thought he was holding Nyx back but they'd soon realised that Alec did it for support.

As interesting as Shadow Hunter daemons were they paled in comparison to the Downworlder's daemons.

For example, Clary had learnt that Warlock's daemons were always mythical creatures and in the mundane world those were extremely hard to come by. Magnus' Alarick was a magnificent blue and purple phoenix that enjoyed fluttering around Nyx's head and Ragnor Fell's Cadell was a small, silver dragon. She had also learnt that werewolf daemons could in rare cases, like Luke's, transform with their humans.

But vampire daemons were, without a doubt, the most interesting of all.

When they had first met Raphael his daemon, a wolverine named Luminiso, had seemed slightly off. Kinath had immediately sensed there was something wrong with her and judging by the way Astra's fur stood up on edge and her tail bushed up she felt it to.

They hadn't realised what it was until Simon became a vampire.

When Simon died to become a vampire Azula hadn't vanished as daemons did when their people died. Instead she'd remained, mewing pitifully, begging them to bring Simon back. Raphael had explained when vampires were born the link between daemon and human was almost severed. It wasn't a complete separation, it was worse. The daemons were only half tied to their humans. More often than not the daemons were disgusted with what their humans had become and their bond was all but broken.

Luckily for Azula when Simon had returned he'd hugged her so tightly that Kinath had muttered about crushing her.


	2. Jace and Astra

**AN:**I had intended this just to be a oneshot but because of the small but positive reaction I got here and over on Tumblr I've decided to continue it with a chapter of moments between each person and their daemon. If you like (or even read this) please review just so I know it's being read!

Started with Jace _because._

**Cougars **in Native American mythology symbolises leadership, courage, power, swiftness and balance. **Astra **means star.

* * *

><p>Astra settles the when Jace is only ten, far earlier than most.<p>

His father had just killed his pet falcon. The pet he and Astra loved with ferociousness. They'd raised it, tamed it, taught it and he had killed it without a second glance. Jace had been determined not to cry and so he stood there, fists balled and jaw set firmly, but he couldn't stop his eyes filling with tears.

His Father's tiger daemon, Juno had flicked her tail elegantly and let loose a rumbling growl of laughter at Jace's tear filled eyes and Astra had become a snarling lion, and they'd felt it at once. _Almost, but not quite._

It had sent Jace's heart racing and Astra's fur had stood on end.

"Calm down, boy. You forget yourself," his father had scolded, smacking Jace across the cheek smartly. "Now get out of my sight." He'd commanded, and Jace hadn't needed telling twice.

They'd torn through their mansion and hadn't stopped until they'd reached the attic. Father never came up here; so it was his and Astra's private lair. He'd collapsed onto the floor and Astra had sat down next to him so he could bury his face in her tawny fur.

"Why did he do it?" he'd asked quietly between sobs.

"To teach you how to be strong," Astra had replied, her voice a low growl.

As they'd clung together she'd begun to change. Her fur had gotten less tawny and a more dusky brown; her body became leaner and smaller but no less powerful. They'd both felt it click into place. "Jace," Astra had said softly. "I think this is it."

He pulled away and looked at her, "Oh, Astra. You're a cougar."

She'd ducked her head slightly, "I know I'm not as big as Juno or a lion but..."

"_No_," he'd cut her off. "You're beautiful." And she was.

When their father died Astra _howled_ and Jace sat numbly staring at the smouldering ruins. His daemon cried for their lost family and home but all Jace could think was _at least he can't hurt us anymore._

* * *

><p>Jace never realised that he and Astra were different until he met the Lightwoods. Maryse and Robert didn't treat their children the same way his father had treated him.<p>

Maryse's lynx, Loxal and Robert's oceolot, Irinna were forever grooming and fussing over their children's daemons. And that wasn't all.

Jace had been taught not to lean on his daemon for support a lot as it betrayed one's true nervousness yet Alec always seemed to cling to his Nyx. They had also been taught that it was improper for daemons to address other humans but Izzy's Rinn had spoken more to him than Izzy had during his first few months there.

But the things that set them apart most were one, the fact that Astra had already settled and two, the fact that Jace and Astra could travel further apart from each other than anyone else they knew (accept Jace's father of course.)

Jace had first arrived at the Institute almost two months after Astra had settled and he'd been surprised when he met Alec and Izzy and found that their daemons were nowhere near settling.

Alec's Nyx was forever shifting between shapes all of them darkly coloured, panther, rat, coyote, lemur, snake, cat and a raccoon. He never seemed happy in any shape, though Alec had never seemed comfortable in his own skin. Black fox, hawk, black bear and raven. It had surprised Jace even more when he'd found out Nyx was a boy. Owl, jaguar, anteater and fossa. Nyx didn't settle until Alec was sixteen. Otter, dingo, tiger, eagle and_wolf._

Izzy's Rinn had always favoured powerful, sleek animals of beauty. Big cats mostly, though most Shadow Hunter's daemons were big cats. He had settled when Izzy was fourteen, an Amur leopard. Jace and Astra had laughed. It was just _so_Izzy.

He'd felt awkward when he found out their daemons hadn't settled, Astra had immediately begun to snarl defensively. But Alec had said simply, "Well maybe you already know who you are." And Nyx, a black and white lemur clinging to Alec's shoulder had leant down to touch Astra's fur gently.

And Jace had decided that maybe the Lightwoods were okay after all.

But the fact that they could travel so far from each other hadn't been so easy to get over. It had happened in training. He was training with Alec; he'd never trained with a partner near his own age before and he was ecstatic. He and Alec worked flawlessly as a team with Nyx, a huge black owl with sharp purple eyes, hovering above them, acting as their lookout.

Jace had accidently fallen and his stele had flown out of his hands to the other side of the training room (which was pretty far away). Astra hadn't thought twice about running after it and it was only when Jace had turned to Alec, stele triumphantly back in hand and seen the other boy pale and clutching Nyx, squirrel shaped, to his chest that he'd realised something was off.

"What's wrong?" he'd asked.

"Y-You...You went so f-far away from each other," Alec had stuttered and Nyx had become a dark coloured ferret and wound himself around Alec's neck. "I've never seen anyone go so far."

Jace and Astra exchanged glances. "It's something we've always been able to do..." Jace mumbled and after a while Alec had calmed down and they'd gotten back to training. But Jace made sure to keep Astra closer to him after that.

* * *

><p>When Jace met Clary Fray and her serval daemon, Kinath, his and Astra's opinions were divided for the first time.<p>

Jace wasn't sure what it was about her but there was _something_that made him want her for more than just fun. It was the same deep, protective urge he had towards the Lightwoods. The scary thing was he'd just met her. Astra _loathed_her.

"Her and that stupid daemon," she had muttered. "I'd be happier if you went for Alec. At least _he's _got common sense."

Jace had laughed and shoved at her and it hadn't taken long for Astra to fall for Kinath as much as Jace had fallen for Clary. And when they'd found out that they were siblings Jace had sat numbly while Astra raged and howled and destroyed their room in anguish and then she'd turned her tortured blue eyes on him and spat, _"Why?_"

And he'd just shook his head.

When they'd met Sebastian and his broken, twisted, lonely panther daemon that barely spoke and seemed to have little attachment to his human, Jace and Astra had promised never to let their bond be broken.

* * *

><p>And then Jace had died.<p>

And when he'd died Astra had vanished in puff of golden dust as Kinath screamed and tried desperately to put her back together again.

When Raziel had brought them back there was something different. They were still one. But there was something missing. Astra was beautiful as ever, so was Jace. They still spoke to each other without words, they still had the same affection for Clary and Kinath and the Lightwoods. But there was _something._

They found out what it was when Jace had gone to that hotel building.

Astra had stopped in the lobby, blinking as though awakening from a deep sleep. "Jace? What are we..." a cold horror had gripped her heart. "_No._ Jace we have to stop!"

Jace had turned to her, eyes blank and unseeing. "No, Astra. I have to do this." And he'd carried on walking. But Astra hadn't followed and when Jace walked away she didn't feel the familiar tug of the bond that connected them.

They had been separated like the ancient witches of the North.

They were one still, but not one.

So Astra turned tail and ran to try and find help.


	3. Simon and Azula

**AN:**so Simon's chapter is kind of short, I haven't read the books in ages so apologies for any mistakes. Alec's next WOO! Also, would any of you guys be interested if I wrote a full length fic in this AU's? I have a plot bunny kicking away at me.

**River otters **symbolise many things but mostly playfulness.

**Azula**comes from the Spanish for blue. (And Avatar. But yeah. BLUE GUYS)

* * *

><p>They met Clary and Kinath on their first day in first grade. Simon was the quiet kid who wasn't entirely sure how to socialise with everyone else and Azula was a mouse in his pocket. They didn't think any of the other kids were interesting until Clary walked in all red hair and fiery personality with Kinath as a miniature tiger stalking beside her.<p>

Simon had been in awe and Azula had even gotten up the courage to peek out of his pocket at the pair. "They're interesting," she'd whispered. And Simon had nodded.

They'd clicked instantly. At school he and Clary would spend all their break times re-enacting scenes from their favourite books or comics or TV shows and Azula and Kinath tried to outdo each other with creative forms. Dragons, unicorns, fauns or monsters. They were always trying to outdo each other. The other kids thought they were weird but Simon always thought that they were just jealous that their dull daemons couldn't be anything imaginative.

They used to joke that they were so similar, that they're daemons would become the same thing. Once when Clary was playing 'analyse the teacher's daemons' she mentioned something about how swans mated for life and Simon secretly hoped Kinath and Azula settled as swans.

They didn't of course, and Kinath surprised all of them by settling before Azula.

It happened one day when they were twelve and walking home from school. Simon was showing Clary the brand new mobile he'd just got from his Mother. Meanwhile, Azula and Kinath fluttered beside them as brightly coloured birds.

When they reached Clary's building and hugged goodbye, the boy that had been following them pounced on Simon. His daemon, a Staffordshire terrier, leapt into the air and pinned Azula down.

"_Azula!"_Simon cried in pain.

"Gimme the phone," the boy hissed. "Or Lucina will rip your little birds head off."

Simon was too distracted by the pain Azula was in to notice Clary running at the boy from behind, Kinath in the shape of golden cat with black spots and very long legs. The name _serval_jumped into his brain as Kinath flashed passed him and leapt on the dog daemon.

"LEAVE SIMON ALONE!" Clary roared, pushing the bully down.

The boy scrambled up and scooped his daemon up, "I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" he called as he ran away.

Clary and Simon laughed. "What would you do without me?" Clary asked.

Simon shrugged, cradling Azula, now a ferret to his chest. "Get mugged obviously."

Clary was about to say something when Kinath said, in a very quiet voice. "Clary, I think this is it."

They both turned to look at him and Azula leapt down and changed into a jackal. "Wow," she breathed, touching noses with Kinath. "What does it feel like?"

"It just feels...right." Kinath said, looking up at Clary. "What do you think?"

Clary beamed, "You're wonderful Kin! Absolutely _perfect._"

And Simon had to admit, Kinath and Clary did look sort of perfect together.

* * *

><p>Azula settled that summer when Simon was in Florida with his family, staying at his grandmother's villa. He was in the pool when it happened; he'd always loved the water. Azula had been diving to the bottom to fetch a block Simon was throwing her from his position on a lilo. It was a game they played a lot, Azula would flick through shapes and see which one she could retrieve the block with fastest.<p>

She came up with the block in her teeth as a small crocodile and Simon laughed at her. "One more?"

She nodded and _flick._

Otter.

They exchanged a look.

"Are you...?" Simon asked, awed.

"I think so..." Azula said her voice shaky.

Clary had been the first person to know. _She's an otter! _He'd texted.

* * *

><p>Simon had never felt embarrassed about having an otter daemon. There were worse things. Like Mike having an ant or his cousin Lyla having cockroach. Azula was beautiful and funny and kind and quietly dangerous.<p>

Then he'd met Jace and Astra. And suddenly having an otter daemon didn't seem so great. Kinath and Clary were smitten the moment they'd met, that much was obvious. And it wasn't just Jace. There was Izzy and her beautiful leopard (who Azula thought was even more amazing then Kinath) and Alec and his huge fucking wolf daemon (who had a _wolf_daemon anymore?) Clary was fascinated by all of them.

He tried to stop thinking like that; especially after Azula licked his ear and whispered, "Sorry I'm not impressive."

Simon had grabbed her and held her close and said, "No, Zula. You're perfect. So what if we aren't a wolf or a lion? We're an adorable otter and if that's not good enough for them then screw 'em."

Azula had chuckled.

And then there had been the incident with the vampires.

When they had first met the vampires they'd both recoiled at the _wrongness_of their daemons. Simon had been a rat at the time and Azula had been quickly snapped up by Raphael's wolverine. They'd both felt a sense of revulsion. Raphael and his daemon were joined, but not. It was strange.

Some of the vampires seemed closer to their daemons then others but most of them seemed different. Wrong, wrong, _wrong._

And then they realised that that's what they would become.

"Please don't let us become like Raphael and Luminiso. _Please,_Simon!" Azula begged quietly as they left to see the vampires.

"Never, Zula. Never."

When people die their daemons die with them, vanishing into a cloud of golden particles. When Simon died Azula remained, shivering, cold and alone. Kinath picked her up and held her close; trying his best to gentle the otter but Azula just couldn't stop shaking.

"He's coming back," she mewled. "He's coming back right?"

Those words broke Clary's heart and as soon as Simon was resurrected she clutched Kinath to her and whispered, "_Never, never, never._ That will never be us."

Now Simon was a vampire he and Azula were changed. Azula could now travel as far as she wanted away from Simon but their bond was still intact. So that was a bonus.

But there was something else too.

Before they had shared thoughts, known exactly what the other was thinking. They had been able to talk to each other nonverbally. Now Simon struggled to see what his otter daemon thought and Azula couldn't see his thoughts either.

They began to understand how the other vampires and their daemons were so distant with each other, their bonds were weaker, they weren't exactly one anymore. They were just a human and a daemon that had once shared something unique but had aged and grown apart.

"Will that ever happen to us?" Azula whispered one evening as they sat alone.

Simon didn't want to think about it. He was a vampire; it was likely he would live forever. _Forever_was a long time. "No," he lied. "Look at Magnus and Alarick. They're still one person, right?"

And for the first time in his life Simon was glad Azula couldn't read his true thoughts.


	4. Magnus and Alarick

**AN: **so I said the next one would be Alec but Magnus wouldn't let it be. Sorry guys but the sparkly Warlock has spoken. This chapter contains characters from the Infernal Devices and _very mild _spoilers for Clockwork Prince so proceed with caution. I've included explanations for a few other daemons here as well :)

**Phoenixes **symbolise rebirth and immortality. **Alarick **means noble or regal.

Will's daemon is an **arctic wolf **which symbolises strength and purity (lolz) and is also seen as loyal and powerful guardian and protector. **Rhiannon **is a Welsh/Celtic goddess of the underworld symbolising enchantments, death, joy and oblivion.

Jem's daemon is a **Maltese tiger** (which may or may not have existed) and in Chinese lore tigers symbolise royalty, protection, generosity and illumination. The blue tiger is also seen as the ruler of Spring and earth elements. **Jiao **is a mandarin name meaning beautiful or loveable.

Tessa's daemon is a **barn owl** which symbolises wisdom, mystery, transition, intelligence, mysticism and his name is **Aeolus **Greek God of the winds meaning quick moving and changeable.

Magnus and Alarick had lived for hundreds of years and while they occasionally forgot a face, or a name, they never forgot a daemon.

Magnus' mother had a beautiful, larger than normal, cat with auburn coloured fur named Cassiel. When they were younger she used to let Alarick ride on her shoulders and would sing them sweet songs while Magnus' mother cooked. Their then father's daemon had been a silver fox named Glanzend and Alarick used to mimic her form. They still remember the day their mother killed herself and father tried to drown them, Glanzend with Alarick clamped firmly in his jaws, but what they remember most is Glanzend's howl of pain and their fathers scream as they burst into flames. They remembered how Glanzend had shivered and vanished in a puff of gold dust leaving their father's body alone and cold.

Alarick had settled that day as phoenix, _reborn from the ashes, _Magnus thought bitterly.

Their first serious girlfriend had been an ancient warlock named Morgana who had a small, elegant, emerald winged-serpent for a daemon. Martyn had liked to coil himself around Alarick's feathered neck and tug gently, gently. Their first serious boyfriend had been a human with bright red hair and big blue eyes, his daemon had been a nervous lemur with huge, unblinking yellow eyes and clung to her human as though her life depended on it.

Camille's daemon was a jet black spider with a red-hour glass design on her abdomen, "A black widow," Alarick had supplied, rustling his wings nervously.

The spider daemon never spoke to Alarick and Camille never spoke to her daemon unless she thought they were alone, that was the only reason Magnus knew her daemon was a male. As soon as he and Alarick would enter room Camille would turn to them and the spider would scuttle up her arm to rest on her shoulder. Alarick was always on edge when they were together but there was something about Camille and her secretive spider daemon that fascinated Magnus.

"I don't like them, Magnus. Her daemon's not right somehow." Alarick would whisper, nipping gently at Magnus' ear.

There was something odd about her daemon, Magnus never even found out his name, but Magnus put it down to the fact that most vampires were distant from their daemons, acting as two separate beings instead of one. Alarick was put on edge by the fact that unlike with most daemons it was hard to read the spider's thoughts or emotions. Truth be told that was kind of what had attracted Magnus in the first place, Camille was something _new._ But eventually Magnus had to admit what Alarick had been saying all along; Camille thought of them as a game and nothing more.

Leaving her and staying with Woolsey and his peacock daemon had been one of the best decisions of Magnus' life and Alarick, snuggled up against Ilya the peacock, definitely agreed.

Yes, Magnus and Alarick never forgot a daemon and that was why when Alec and Nyx walked in to their lives they found themselves momentarily thrown back in time.

"He looked like..." Alarick had breathed after the Shadow Hunters left.

"I know," Magnus cut him off. "And his daemon..." he muttered. They hadn't seen a wolf daemon for a while, hardly anyone had wolf daemons in this day and age and they most certainly had not expected to see another Shadow Hunter with a wolf daemon.

The last one they had met had been in London over a century ago. "_Will and Rhiannon," _Alarick whispered.

Magnus closed his eyes and saw the boy with the deep blue eyes and dark hair and his quick witted white wolf with amber eyes striding along beside him. Rhiannon had been beautiful with flawlessly smooth snowy, white but for a long scar along her chest, just where her heart would be. And then he saw the silver boy, Jem and his silent, padding blue tiger, Jiao. Seemingly the only ones who had any control over Will and his wolf. He remembered how flawlessly the two daemons had worked together, how they had been able to finish each other's sentences and speak without words.

"I miss them too, Magnus," Alarick said softly and Magnus had hummed.

Then he thought of Tessa and her little owl daemon. How young she had been then, how naive and hopeful.

He thought again of Alec, beautiful and broken and his big, black wolf. "Should we, Al?" he asked.

His phoenix daemon's eyes twinkled, "You've already made your decision."

When Alec returned (Magnus knew he would) they were both surprised when it was Nyx that spoke to them. "Go on," he said roughly, pushing Alec forwards.

When they had first met Nyx and Alec previously the wolf had stayed silent, watching everything carefully and Alec had always had one hand resting on his daemon's shoulders, "_For support,"_ Alarick said, his voice full of sympathy. "_They are __**adorable," **_Magnus had decided, smiling.

For the first few days they spent together Nyx did most of the talking for Alec, Alarick spent most of the time perched on the wolf's back and Magnus got the distinct impression Nyx liked him a lot more then Alec did. Until one day as Alec was leaving (after another evening spent with Magnus, Alarick and Nyx doing the talking) Nyx paused as they were about to leave and ran back to Magnus.

"He likes you _a lot_," the daemon said gazing up at Magnus. Nyx's eyes were the same shade of amber as Rhiannon's had been. "He's just shy." Then Nyx had leant forward and very slowly touched his noise to Magnus' hand. Magnus' heart skipped a beat.

Alec had breathed in sharply, "_Nyx,_" he whispered, shivering slightly. The wolf grinned at Magnus and ran back to the Shadow Hunter.

After that everything seemed easier between them.


	5. Alec and Nyx

**AN: **so I'm thinking this is the second to last one, Izzy's will be next and that's it. I am working on a full length for this 'verse though :) Thanks a lot for the reviews! They're like oxygen to me people!

* * *

><p><strong>Nyx <strong>is the Greek deity of the night. She's a goddess but yeah.** Wolves **symbolise toughness and loyalty, work well in a pack but out of their own pack prefer to be alone. In daemon!canon wolves are usually warriors daemons and in some fanon wolf daemons have come to symbolise some form of trauma.

* * *

><p>Alec has always known that he and Nyx are somewhat different from other Shadowhunters.<p>

It's not just because Nyx is a boy and that's wrong apparently (although no one can explain why to him). And it's not just because Nyx doesn't like talking to other daemons. It's because Nyx just _isn't _like the other kids daemons. And, well, Alec isn't exactly likethe other kids.

Most kid's daemons change form a lot and experiment with magical animals. Nyx changes form almost once every hour. He's never something silly, like a dragon or a unicorn, he's never something cuddly, like a puppy or a rabbit, he's always something black, always something dangerous. Foxes, jackals, eagles, bears.

He stays close to Alec at all times and Alec's grateful. They feel like they're crawling out of their skin most of the time. They know they're _wrong. _They're pretty sure other people know too, that's probably why other kids avoid them.

The only person who doesn't avoid them is Izzy. And Alec's grateful, he really is, but she's his _sister_, she sort of has to be nice to them.

* * *

><p>They realise what's wrong with them when they're ten years old. Nyx is a jet black mongoose and they're being chatted up by Alyssa Carstairs and her butterfly daemon. Alyssa is a delicate, pretty girl with large brown eyes and soft dark hair and she's talking to them about marriage and Alec's sort of zoning out. Then she leans over and kisses him on the cheek and Alec sort of knows that she's never going to be right for him, Nyx becomes a porcupine to make this clear and she flounces off.<p>

Later that night Nyx murmurs, "We're not right, are we?" he's an alley cat, curled on Alec's pillow.

Alec rolls over and mumbles something intelligible and his daemon sighs, "We like boys, Alec. You can't pretend it's not true."

_I can pretend as long as I want, _Alec thinks stubbornly and Nyx nips his ear. "It was only one girl." He says and his daemon chuckles.

Alec pretends up until the day they meet Jace and Astra. Then he can't pretend he's straight anymore.

* * *

><p>When Alec is twelve he begins wondering what Nyx will settle as. Daemons usually settle between the ages of twelve and fourteen; Astra is already settled when they meet Jace and Rinn settles on Izzy's twelfth birthday. Other kids laugh at them; even their parents have started to worry.<p>

When Alec is fifteen and Nyx hasn't settled yet he starts getting annoyed. He stands out enough without _this. _He knows it's not Nyx's fault, it's probably something wrong with _him._ Some days he gets so angry it _hurts, _like acid boiling in his veins and Nyx growls mournfully.

"Alec, I'm _sorry,_" he whines as a black fox. "I'm sorry, I want to...it'll happen, I know it will!"

"_When?_" Alec cries.

Nyx changes into a wolverine, "I'm sorry..." he mumbles.

_It's not your fault, it's mine. I'm the freak, _Alec wants to say. He holds out his hand and Nyx changes in to a black rat and clambers gratefully on to his shoulder. "I'm sorry."

Nyx settles when they're sixteen.

They're hunting a shax demon and it has Jace cornered and weaponless. Astra is between Jace and the demon and she's spitting and snarling and swiping but the demon sweeps her out of the way easily and Jace cries in pain, "_Astra!"_

It's automatic. He and Nyx leap for the demon at the same time and Nyx is a huge black wolf, bigger than any daemon Alec has ever seen. They're about to kill the demon but Izzy comes up behind them and beats them to it.

On their way back to the Institute Nyx still hasn't changed and they exchange a look that says everything. They don't speak until they're alone.

"You're a wolf," Alec rasps as the implications of it crash down upon him and because he can't quite believe that _this_ is his soul. Beautiful and dark and dangerous.

Nyx lowers his head as though in shame, "I'm sorry, Alec."

"Can you change?" Alec asks though he knows the answer; it feels _right _for once.

He shakes his head. "Alec it was for Jace, to protect him. To protect _you_."

Alec kneels down beside his beautiful, dangerous daemon and hugs him. "I know, Nyx. I know."

* * *

><p>Everyone has something to say about Nyx being a wolf and it's Izzy who says it first.<p>

She sneaks in to his room after a week of Nyx being a wolf and says hesitantly, "Alec, you know what they say about wolf daemons..."

Alec looks at her and Nyx stalks away from Rinn. "Yes, we're perfectly aware."

She wants to say more but she doesn't, instead she just watches him warily after that.

Next it's Jace.

He pulls them aside after training one day and says, "You know if anything happened to you, you could tell me, right?"

And for a moment Alec's not sure what he's talking about until he notices the way Astra's looking at them both with a mixture of pity and concern. Nyx snarls and Alec snaps, "Nothing happened, okay?" and storms off.

Then it's their parents. They call him in to the library and they're both wearing their 'concerned-parent' face and their daemons are sitting alert and watchful beside them.

"So is this it?" Robert asks, "Nyx is settled?"

Alec nods cautiously and his mother sighs, "Alexander, you know what they say about wolf daemons. Did something happen to make you like this?" she phrases her question delicately and Alec knows that she's only looking out for him but this time he can't seem to control his rage.

"Nothing happened!" he yells, standing up, one hand resting on Nyx's shoulders. "Why can't anyone just accept that this is _who we are_!"

He leaves and locks himself in his room and buries his face in Nyx's fur. "_Why_ can't they accept us?" he mumbles.

"Maybe we're just different," the daemon replies quietly. "Maybe we're meant to be alone."

Alec looks at Nyx. "Maybe you're right." He says eventually.

* * *

><p>And then they meet Magnus.<p>

"You're daemon is a wolf," the warlock observes on their first meeting.

Alec is immediately on the defensive, "And _what?_" he snaps.

The warlock smiles, "And nothing. I think he's beautiful."

Alec splutters and when they leave Nyx murmurs, "We should go back and see him, Alec. I like him."

And Alec doesn't want to admit it, but maybe he likes Magnus a little bit as well.


	6. Izzy and Rinn

**AN: **final chapter I've never really written Izzy so this one may be a little awful. Sorry about that! I'm also thinking starting an Infernal Devices daemon story a lot like this :) I think I'm addicted.

* * *

><p><strong>Rinn <strong>in Irish means star. He's an **Amur leopard** symbolising bravery, stealth, beauty and cunning.

**Lahela **means "innocent lamb" and is Hawaiian, she's unsettled.

**Maeryn **is Gaelic and means bitter. She's a **panther** which symbolises understanding of death, swiftness, cunning, darkness and strength.

* * *

><p>Izzy and Rinn like to surprise people, like to stand out.<p>

Rinn likes taking the form of strange animals, kitsunes (a Japanese fox demon with many tails), dragons, phoenixes, unicorns, even once a human (but that freaked even _them _out so they never did it again). And if he does take a 'normal' form he's never the right colour, a pink cat, an orange dog, a green lemur and Izzy loves him for it.

She also loves how outspoken her daemon is. It's usually considered rude for a daemon to address another human directly but that's never stopped Rinn and Izzy will never get over the wide eyed look that always follows. Their parents give up trying to get them to behave appropriately when they're eight and Izzy thinks they didn't really put up much of a fight.

Their brother, Alec and his Nyx don't understand. They like being invisible. Izzy hates the thought of it. But the thing is Alec and Nyx have never been invisible. Nyx is a boy and Nyx only seems to be able to be darkly coloured and Nyx doesn't talk to other daemons much and their parents are constantly worrying about him.

So they do their best to make themselves stand out.

* * *

><p>She doesn't really want Rinn to settle, she likes the way he can shift through forms to match their mood, match their situation, but she knows it'll happen and she knows that whatever Rinn chooses will be perfect.<p>

It happens on their twelfth birthday. They're in the park with Alec and Jace and they're running, breathless with laughter. Jace and Astra are bounded along beside them and Alec is a little further behind, Nyx is a huge black eagle and they're both laughing and Izzy and Rinn are happy because they haven't seen Alec look this happy for ages.

Rinn is running a little way ahead of her, he's a leopard and it looks _good _on him. He's been that way for almost two weeks and Izzy calls, "Rinn! You really like being a leopard don't you?"

He turns to her momentarily grinning and speeds up and she follows him and soon they've left Jace and Alec far behind them. They flop down beside the lake and Izzy scratches Rinn on the head and marvels at how graceful and beautiful he looks, powerful too.

"Happy birthday, Rinn," she says.

He rumbles an agreement and Izzy runs a hand through his perfect fur. She turns and spies Alec and Jace walking slowly towards them.

"Izzy," Rinn says softly. "I don't think I'll be changing anymore."

Izzy grins, "A leopard? You're _perfect._"

Rinn stands up, "Good," he says with a chuckle, "'cos I can't do anything to change it." And with that he bounds away from her to pounce on Astra.

When Jace and Alec settle down beside her she says, "I think Rinn's settled."

Alec smiles, "That's great Izzy!" but she can hear the jealousy in his voice and Nyx swoops down to land on his shoulder and nip his ear comfortingly.

"Thank God he's a leopard," Jace says, scratching his cougar behind the ear. "I had nightmares that he'd settle as something ridiculous like a polka dot elephant."

Rinn bats at Astra playfully and Izzy laughs.

* * *

><p>They learn very quickly that they're beautiful and they use it to their advantage. They go through boyfriends like Alec's Nyx goes through forms. They're just having fun, Rinn assures her. It's nothing to do with that niggling fear they have in their gut about rejection, about pain. It's nothing to do with the nights they listened to their parents argue, their mother cry, when they found out about their father's affair.<p>

When Jace and Astra meet Clary and Kinath Izzy pretends she isn't jealous. Not because Clary's taking up Jace's time, or because she's no longer the only girl in the Institute but because she can see it between them. That deep love that she and Rinn crave.

And then Alec meets Magnus and she starts to worry.

"Will we ever have anything like that?" she asks Rinn quietly one day.

Rinn nuzzles her cheek, "Of course we will Isabelle. We could have that anytime we wanted, you know that."

"First we'd need to find someone we actually like that much," she says despondently.

"What about Simon?" Rinn asks.

Izzy throws a pillow at him and he cackles. "We're just having fun, Iz." He says. "We don't need to worry about that yet."

She smiles because he's right.

* * *

><p>And then Max dies and his Lahela is snuffed out like a candle.<p>

She can't believe it, _won't _believe it. He was so young, he had a whole life and it was _her fault._ They should have noticed something was wrong with Sebastian and Maeryn. The way he never seemed to touch her, the way Maeryn's eyes were empty and how she didn't seem to notice the other daemons around her.

They should have noticed.

"But we didn't," Rinn snarls, clawing at the floor in anger. "It's our fault, Izzy!" he howls. "We should have protected Max and Lahe! It was our _duty_."

"It should have been us," she whispers in to her daemon's beautiful fur.

She wonders idly what Lahela would have settled as while they imagine his funeral. Lahela always liked bird shapes but Izzy doesn't think that's what she would have settled as. _Well we'll never know now,_ she thinks. _Because of me._

Rinn bites down on her hand and the sharp pain makes her gasp. "Don't do this to us, Iz." He says with a soft growl. Izzy glares at him and is about to say something when there's a knock at the door.

It's Simon, sweet, innocent Simon and his little otter daemon chattering softly from his shoulders.

_We could pretend just for one night, couldn't we?_ She thinks to Rinn.

In answer the leopard allows Simon's Azula to curl up between his paws and Izzy sighs and Simon holds her tightly.

_Just for tonight we can pretend we're in love._


End file.
